CBS' "Life in Pieces" was off the wall again this week. So many clichés and tired narratives, yet only thirty minutes in which to squeeze them all. Grams and Gramps having sex on the family room sofa? Check. Explicit breastfeeding complete with throwback hippies called lactation consultants brought in to help new parents? Check. Promotion of the demand that new moms avoid using baby formula? Check that one off, too.
The show’s format divides the episode into four stories, this week “Interruptus Date Breast Movin,’” each featuring one part of the family tree. Story One opens with a gratuitous little bit of elder sex interrupted by their son walking into the room, in search of his cell phone. "It’s under your mother!" The mother proceeds to make waffles for her son and husband afterward and jokes about being a porn star now. That’s hilarious, right? Explain that to the kids during primetime, parents. Grams is a porn star!
Story Three features the married son and his wife, new parents who are having difficulty with breastfeeding the baby. The scene opens with the new mother sitting in bed with the breast pump going while her husband tries to reassure her she is not, as she claims, “failing at the most basic task of motherhood.” Ever since the natural everything movement began – and during the heyday of Ms. Magazine – the Hollywood chic have been determined to make any new mom not able to breastfeed into a failure.
A lactation consultant couple is called in, who creepily turn out to be brother and sister, and they perform several rather bizarre hippie dippy group exercises intended to loosen the new mom up and increase production of breast milk. They are true lactation Nazis, formula is called the “F word” and is not to be uttered:
Story Four brings a bit of the social justice/prison reform movement into play. The daughter’s family is moving to a new house and she employs a moving company that only hires ex-convicts. It’s for charity, she chirps, good deed for the day done. The gag is that each one is sporting a whistle from his neck to be blown whenever a mover comes into contact with something that would be a parole violation. The liquor cabinet, cough syrup, prescription drugs, and, yes, a pre-teen daughter, too. So one of the ex-con movers is a child molester. Hardy har har!
No mention of a natural reaction like a desire to find a different company is made, as that might seem judgmental, right? The feelings of criminals overrule those of a regular family feeling uncomfortable with them working in their house.
Challenge for CBS: Fewer shocks, more laughs.
