In ‘Quaaludes and Crackerjack,’ CBS’s Mom takes an unnecessary turn into lesbian land. Rosie O’Donnell guest stars as Bonnie’s (Allison Janney) ex-girlfriend. While attending a gay Alcoholics Anonymous meeting (since her ex-boyfriend is making her uncomfortable in her regular meeting), Bonnie runs into Jeanine (Rosie O’Donnell). Jeanine, as it turns out, is the leader of this group.
After the reunion, Bonnie explains to Christy (Anna Faris) that they lived with Jeanine in order to have a roof over their heads. She admitted she was faking her feelings for Jeanine for the free ride - “I faked it with a man. I could fake it with a woman.” She and Christy ran out on Jeanine in the middle of the night and hadn’t seen her since.
Bonnie went to make amends with Jeanine – a part of AA’s 12 step program – and Jeanine turned the tables to say that she plied Bonnie with Quaadludes and booze so she would stay. Sounds like recent headlines about Bill Cosby!
Jeanine: You gonna tell me why you're here?
Bonnie: Why do you think? I need to make amends. You were so good to me and Christy, and I just... Treated you horribly.
Jeanine: I accept your amends.
Bonnie: Really? It's that easy?
Jeanine: Well, in all fairness, I did my best to keep you loaded so you'd stick around. So I guess I owe you an amends, too.
Bonnie: Wait, I’m confused. All these years I thought I was the one who took advantage of you. Now you're saying I was the victim?
Jeanine: (Scoffs) Some victim. I kept a well-stocked bar, I tossed you a couple of Quaaludes, and you lived with me for two years rent-free.
Bonnie: Two years?
Jeanine: Time flies when you put bourbon on your pancakes.
Bonnie: Huh. Okay, well, mm-hmm. What do you say we just call it even?
Jeanine: Works for me. You hungry?
Bonnie: I guess I could eat.
Jeanine: Come on, I'll throw a couple steaks on the grill.
Bonnie: Sounds good.
Jeanine: All right. I'm really glad we could reconnect.
Bonnie: Me, too.
Jeanine: I would have laid even money you'd be dead or in jail by now.
Bonnie: Technically, I've been both.
Jeanine notes that, thanks to legalized gay marriage, she is the most successful real estate agent in her company. “Ever since they legalized gay marriage, there’s a gay tidal wave headed for the suburbs.”
After a dip or two back into the lady pond, Bonnie comes clean with Jeanine that she’s not really gay, as Jeanine begins to dive too deeply into re-creating their past family unit with Christy. No big deal, Jeanine tells her. “Don’t get hung up on labels – gay, straight…”
Liberal Hollywood continues to push its in-your-face gay agenda. The question is, can Rosie O’Donnell play anything else on television?
