On Monday’s Nightly Show, Comedy Central’s Larry Wilmore took time out of his race-obsessed show to return to his favorite hobby, bashing Republicans, specifically the 2016 GOP presidential candidates who are engaged in the “unblackening” of America.
Wilmore began his attack on the GOP by joking that “there are so many candidates running they have their own TLC show. I know which one is the child molester, just saying.”
The Comedy Central host then detailed how Hillary Clinton looks to be “pretty inevitable” to win the Democratic nomination before launching into his GOP smear:
On the GOP there’s Rubio, Paul and Cruz, or as I call them the horrible prize at the bottom of the GOP crackerjack box. You got Ben Carson, the only black guy running. He said ObamaCare is the worst thing to happen to the country since slavery. To be fair to Ben Carson, he may have been talking about the Britney Spears “Slave4u” video. There's Carly Fiorina former tech CEO. She’s like Steve Jobs if Steve Jobs never made anything that worked and fired 30,000 people. More like Steve No-Jobs. Bam.
Wilmore then turned his sights on Mike Huckabee who he assumed was “running just to amuse me personally” before moving on to the rest of the Republicans running for president:
Jeb Bush is going to announce on June 15th. Sorry, Jeb, but I saw the first two movies and you need to stop remaking this s***. All right. Who else, who else? George Pataki, I don’t even know who that is. Seriously, I have no idea. Rick Perry. Oh yeah, Rick Perry, man, didn’t he have a funny name for his house or something? I can’t recall. It had a certain ring. Was it like figurehead ranch, or ginger head ranch? What was it? Oh, yeah. Right, right, f*** that guy. And we got, yeah f*** that guy.
While Wilmore eagerly bashed each and every one of the 2016 Republican presidential candidates, during the show’s panel discussion the liberal comedian lamented that self-proclaimed Democratic Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders hadn’t gained much traction nationally because “truth teller[s]” like him rarely win elections.
Since the Nightly Show debuted in January, Wilmore has repeatedly deemed 2016 as the “unblackening” of America and even accused Ted Cruz’s candidacy of being “blacklash at its finest.”
See relevant transcript below.
Comedy Central’s The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore
June 8, 2015
LARRY WILMORE: Welcome back. Alright time for our presidential election update. Yeah the unblackening. Man, a lot is happening in the presidential campaign over the past couple of weeks. You know, to be honest with you guys, we've been too busy to cover it. I guess you could say we've been slackening on our unblackening. A little "CSI Nightly Show." Okay, so we're still like a year and a half away from the election, but there are so many candidates running they have their own TLC show. I know which one is the child molester, just saying. Just saying. Anyway, alright here’s what we're going to do. Let's do a quick rundown of who's in the race. Alright put 90 seconds on the clock you guys.
Alright. Oh and today's unblackening speed round is brought to you by Activia. Activia, for when you're trying to get it all out in under a minute and a half. You ready? And go! Alright, for the Democrats you have Hillary. Her nomination looks pretty inevitable, but there’s also Sanders Chafee and O’Malley, they seem a little more evitable.
On the GOP there’s Rubio, Paul and Cruz, or as I call them the horrible prize at the bottom of the GOP crackerjack box. You got Ben Carson, the only black guy running. He said ObamaCare is the worst thing to happen to the country since slavery. To be fair to Ben Carson, he may have been talking about the Britney Spears “Slave4u” video. There's Carly Fiorina former tech CEO. She’s like Steve Jobs if Steve Jobs never made anything that worked and fired 30,000 people. More like Steve No-Jobs. Bam.
You got Mike Huckabee, who I assume is running just to amuse me personally. I’ll challenge anyone on that, alright? Jeb Bush is going to announce on June 15th. Sorry, Jeb, but I saw the first two movies and you need to stop remaking this s***. All right. Who else, who else? George Pataki, I don’t even know who that is. Seriously, I have no idea.
Rick Perry. Oh yeah, Rick Perry, man, didn’t he have a funny name for his house or something? I can’t recall. It had a certain ring. Was it like figurehead ranch, or ginger head ranch? What was it? Oh, yeah. Right, right, f*** that guy. And we got, yeah f*** that guy. Okay. And we got Lindsey Graham, worse Nabisco treat ever. Damn it, screwed that one up. Alright, that’s okay, I'll keep going. Finally Rick Santorum, who’s pulling at the same percentage as reduced fat milk. I would have gotten it, I would have gotten under. I know.
