CBS’s Stephen Colbert twisted himself into a logical pretzel on Monday’s installment of The Late Show. First, Colbert suggested that President Trump’s immigration enforcement was the stuff of Nazis, but immediately afterwards, he conceded that former President Biden did pretty much the same thing.
Taking his cues from a CNN headline, Colbert lamented, “Daddy Donny is keeping his promise to round up immigrants in order to save the dogs that weren't being eaten from imaginary Mexican Hannibal Lecter. Over the weekend, his administration launched a nationwide immigration enforcement blitz. Really? Blitz, short for blitzkrieg? Just once, can we do fun German stuff? I'd love to see a headline that says, ‘Trump administration launches nationwide strudel.’”
Before anyone could ask if the defensive football tactic was beyond the pale, Colbert conceded, “so far, ICE says these roundups are going after criminals, something like Biden tried to do.”
So, not Nazi-like?
Regardless, Colbert continued by recalling Sunday’s international incident with Colombia, “but unlike Biden, Trump's doing it in a way that pisses off our allies. Cuz yesterday, the president of Colombia refused to let a military transport filled with handcuffed migrants land in his country. So, Trump posted, [TRUMP VOICE] ‘Emergency 25 percent tariffs on all Colombian goods coming into the United States.’ [NORMAL VOICE] To which Don Jr. said, ‘Wait, not everything from Colombia, right? Dad? Dad?’”
Colombian President Gustavo Petro is a funny definition of an ally. He’s old Marxist guerrilla who is an anti-Semitic Hamas propagandist who cozies up to Venezuela’s Nicholas Maduro. On Sunday, he authorized the use of deportation flights, but canceled them while they were in the air all over the type of plane being used because he wanted to become the main character in the global anti-Trump resistance.
Here is a transcript for the January 27 show:
CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
1/27/2025
11:41 PM ET
STEPHEN COLBERT: Daddy Donny is keeping his promise to round up immigrants in order to save the dogs that weren't being eaten from imaginary Mexican Hannibal Lecter. Over the weekend, his administration launched a nationwide immigration enforcement blitz. Really? Blitz, short for blitzkrieg? Just once, can we do fun German stuff? I'd love to see a headline that says, “Trump administration launches nationwide strudel.”
So far—or even blitzes with strudel—so far, ICE says these roundups are going after criminals, something like Biden tried to do, but unlike Biden, Trump's doing it in a way that pisses off our allies. Cuz yesterday, the president of Colombia refused to let a military transport filled with handcuffed migrants land in his country. So, Trump posted, [TRUMP VOICE] “Emergency 25 percent tariffs on all Colombian goods coming into the United States.” [NORMAL VOICE] To which Don Jr. said, "Wait, not everything from Colombia, right? Dad? Dad?”
