On Friday's Real Time on HBO, host Bill Maher was again aiming crude personal insults at GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz -- this time likening him to a "rat" and to convicted pedophile Jared Fogle of Subway restaurant fame -- and Republicans, this week recommending that the GOP give up on winning the presidential election because the "teabagger" Congress is so effective at being "obstructionist a******s" when they are not holding the White House.
Earlier in the show, Maher described Republicans reluctantly siding with Cruz over Donald Trump as using a "rat to kill a snake." Maher:
Ted Cruz seems to be gaining favor -- when I say "gaining favor" among the other Republicans, they're thinking, "Hey, you know what, we don't like him, but sometimes you have to use a rat to kill a snake." It seems like with Ted Cruz they've gone through the five stages -- you know, bargaining, denial, anger -- and now they're up to acceptance, that could be bad news for Donald Trump.
Concluding the regular "New Rules" segment at the show's end, the far-left comedian went into a commentary advising Republicans to "punt" on this year's presidential race, and made his crass jab at Cruz comparing him to a pedophile. Maher:
So we all know you're not happy with your choices right now. But it's getting near closing time, and you're going to have to go home with one of them. Either Ted Cruz -- a man with all the appeal of Jared from Subway, minus the inspiring weight loss story -- or Donald Trump, the zombie candidate. But there is a third choice: Punt! Punt! Give the ball to your defense.
He then took aim at congressional Republicans as he added:
You've got a great defense. And by that I mean you're great at being obstructionist a**holes when you're out of office. Our current teabagger Congress proves that you can't govern anymore. You don't even want to. Governing means doing things. In government. Which you hate.You say you want your country back, but really I think you're like the video gamer who finally lands a date with a real woman. You'd have no idea what to do with her.
After comparing the Republican party to "one of those houses where an old lady lived with a hundred cats who peed everywhere," Maher included a Hitler reference by suggesting a President Trump might invade Poland:
Do you really want to spend four years defending every single thing that President Trump tweets in the middle of the night? Defending every stupid thing that he does -- when he invades Poland or puts Hulk Hogan on the nickel or retweets our nuclear codes?
Below is a transcript of the relevant portion of the Friday, April 8, Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO:
10:18 p.m. ET
Ted Cruz seems to be gaining favor -- when I say "gaining favor" among the other Republicans, they're thinking, "Hey, you know what, we don't like him, but sometimes you have to use a rat to kill a snake." It seems like with Ted Cruz they've gone through the five stages -- you know, bargaining, denial, anger -- and now they're up to acceptance, that could be bad news for Donald Trump.
(...)
10:55 p.m. ET
And finally, "New Rule," and this one goes out to Republicans. Guys, there's no shame in punting. You can't score every time you get the ball. Sometimes you end up with really horrible field position, and what do you do? Punt! Punt! You're going to lose this election. You are. You're going to lose with either Trump or Cruz. So just punt. Help put Hillary Clinton in the Oval Office, and you'll have her right where you want her. I know that sounds crazy, but the only way you can win this November is by losing.
(...)
So we all know you're not happy with your choices right now. But it's getting near closing time, and you're going to have to go home with one of them. Either Ted Cruz -- a man with all the appeal of Jared from Subway, minus the inspiring weight loss story -- or Donald Trump, the zombie candidate. But there is a third choice: Punt! Punt! Give the ball to your defense.
You've got a great defense. And by that I mean you're great at being obstructionist a**holes when you're out of office. Our current teabagger Congress proves that you can't govern anymore. You don't even want to. Governing means doing things. In government. Which you hate.You say you want your country back, but really I think you're like the video gamer who finally lands a date with a real woman. You'd have no idea what to do with her.
Does this Trump supporter, for example, really want to fix what's wrong with America? No. The only thing that would make him happy is going back in time to when his penis worked and there weren't Spanish stations on the radio.
So let Hillary have the next four years. The Republican party is going to need that time anyway to rebuild. And I'm talking about a top-to-bottom renovation. My God, the GOP right now, it's like one of those houses where an old lady lived with a hundred cats who peed everywhere. Yes, that is your party today -- a filthy, pee-stained house full of dead cats.
Do you really want to live there for the next four years? Do you really want to spend four years defending every single thing that President Trump tweets in the middle of the night? Defending every stupid thing that he does -- when he invades Poland or puts Hulk Hogan on the nickel or retweets our nuclear codes? It's going to be you explaining it to Wolf Blitzer.
