Daily Show host Trevor Noah recently admitted he’s thrilled that he doesn’t have to attack who’s in the Oval Office anymore so he can instead fearmonger for Democrat causes. On Monday night, the comedian did just that, hammering Texas’s fetal heartbeat law protecting unborn babies as “insane” “horrible” and “terrifying.”
Noah began by whining that Democrats’ radical abortion law was unlikely to pass in the Senate: “Yeah, of course it's unlikely to pass in the Senate, nothing passes in the Senate!” he griped before spending the remainder of the segment trashing the “horrible” Texas anti-abortion law.
Wow, women can't even get an Uber to the abortion clinic. That is insane and so horrible. And it must be pretty upsetting for the restaurant next door that all the women are pretending to get rides to….This law is terrifying if you think about it because now practically anyone can be sued for being involved in an abortion in any way -- doctors can be sued, nurses can be sued, even Uber drivers.
Despite admitting repeatedly that a “baby”’s life was ended in an abortion, Noah didn’t seem to care. The worst part of his monologue came next. Playing clips of media guests decrying how women would have to travel out of Texas to get an abortion, Noah declared, “People, this is despicable, you shouldn't have to cross state lines to get a simple medical procedure performed.”
Simple medical procedure? You aren’t filling a cavity!
After whining that banning abortions would hurt poor women the most, Noah then claimed this law wouldn’t stop abortions but increase illegal abortions instead. To bolster his claim, he played a clip of former CBS journalist Walter Cronkite bemoaning a rise in illegal abortions in a 1965 newscast.
He finished his monologue trashing the “supposedly pro-life” Republicans for not doing enough to provide government services for women:
So these supposedly pro-life laws will end up hurting a lot of women and probably killing some of them which is especially tragic because if pro-life lawmakers want to reduce abortion there are so many other ways they could do it by supporting women instead of harming them. I mean they could Increase access to contraception, make it easier to raise children with better access to childcare and education and healthcare. They could make it so every kid comes with an iPad so if you don't like your kid at least you got an iPad. The point is they don't want to do any of that. They just want to say no abortions, problem solved. But that approach isn't going to end abortions. All its going to do is just move them somewhere else or make it more dangerous.
This isn’t comedy, but activism.
Other late-night hosts got the memo to bash the GOP law as well. On Jimmy Kimmel Live, the liberal host made this terrible joke:
“People online strongly disagreed with Chris Pratt being cast to play Super Mario. Fans took to social media to furiously demand that an Italian actor portray this offensive Italian stereotype instead….Ladies, pay attention, if your boyfriend was more upset about this than the Texas abortion law, say goodbye.”
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Read transcript portions below:
The Daily Show
9/28/21
TREVOR NOAH: The abortion debate in America is always simmering, but over the past couple of months, it started to boil yet again.
DAVIR MUIR: Tonight the house passing a bill aiming to guarantee a woman's right to choose, its an attempt to establish a federal protection for choice as states approve strict new limits including Texas where nearly all abortions have ended, it is unlikely to pass the Senate.
NOAH: Yeah, of course it's unlikely to pass in the Senate, nothing passes in the Senate! The Senate is more backed up than me on an aggressive course on antibiotics and no I will not get the probiotics! It's a scam! …
If the vote stands no chance to have passing the Senate, why did Democrats do it? Well it was basically a symbolic response to Texas' new extreme abortion law which effectively bans abortion after six weeks, which just so you understand is oftentimes before many women even know they're pregnant, and unlike the house vote that Texas law isn't symbolic, it is having very real consequences.
CBS NEWS: The fallout from the new antiabortion law in Texas has been swift and for some women devastating.
NOAH: Wow, women can't even get an Uber to the abortion clinic. That is insane and so horrible. And it must be pretty upsetting for the restaurant next door that all the women are pretending to get rides to. “Yee-haw! Slice the cornbread boys, we got someone coming in for some barbecue! Oh, no, wait, wait, wait... She just isn't ready to be a mommy. False alarm.”
But I get it, Uber drivers don't want to get sued for where they drop someone off. I mean, if I was an Uber driver in Texas, I wouldn't even drop couples off after the club. I would be, like, no, you get off here, she's going home. I will not be responsible for what happens next!
This law is terrifying if you think about it because now practically anyone can be sued for being involved in an abortion in any way -- doctors can be sued, nurses can be sued, even Uber drivers. I mean, shit, Frank Ocean better watch out because half the time it's his album playing during the moment of conception. Obviously, the whole point of extreme abortion laws like Texas' is to, you know, stop abortions. So it may be surprising to learn that they actually don't, and we'll tell you what actually happens when abortion is outlawed, in another installment of if you don't know, now you know. So what happens when a state bans abortions? Do women suddenly go, well, if the state legislature wants me to have this baby, who am I to say no? No, they don't. Instead, many women who want an abortion will be forced to go find one where it is legal.
CNN DOCTOR: What we know is, when you ban abortion, it doesn't mean people stop needing access and people won't go to more lengths to get the care that they need.
…
CNN GUEST: What could happen is that more women may decide to travel to Mexico. It's like kind of the opposite what used to happen, like a lot of women used to travel to the U.S. To have a safe and legal abortion.
NOAH: People, this is despicable, you shouldn't have to cross state lines to get a simple medical procedure performed.
That's something people do when they're running from the law because they, like, I don't know, kidnap their ex's puppy when she refuses to give them visitation rights. ‘Just because we broke up doesn't mean I can't see fluffy Cassandre!’ That's the dogs' name.
People may have to go to Mexico for abortion…. It also sucks for the Mexican doctors because they constantly have to hear American asking the doctors, por favor for an abortion in la bibliotecha? You might be saying so what these women have to take an abortion road trip, what's the big problem? The big problem is like most American laws, this one disproportionately affects the poor.
CNN’S AREVA MARTIN: If you're a wealthy woman and living in Texas you can get on a plane, fly outside the states, you may have other options, but if you're a poor woman or a woman of color you won't have those options.
NBC NEWS NOW: Half of the people obtain an abortion already live below the poverty level. When someone is already struggling financially and they're denied care, it puts them in even tougher economic situation.
NOAH: Yeah, for many poor women just leaving the state is not an option. Especially when that state is Texas. Have you seen Texas? It goes on forever. It's the IKEA of states. And many antiabortion advocates are arguing that if you make abortion harder, it will make these women re-think the decision and decide to have the baby. But if you look back at what actually happened the last time abortion was Illegal, you will find when women are struck between a rock and hard place they take matters into their own hands.
WALTER CRONKITE, 1965 NEWSCAST: The illegal termination of pregnancy has reached epidemic proportions in this country. The laws which outlaws abortion are broken an estimated 1 million times a year, 3,000 times a day for various medical, social and economic reasons the laws do not recognize as valid. The facts are astonishing. 350,000 women a year suffer complications.
NOAH: Okay, I know that looks ancient because it's in black and white and square, but that wasn't actually that long ago. The last time abortion was outlawed in America, hundreds of thousands of women suffered complications each year with hundreds dying. And, yes, it is true, medicine has improved a lot since then. Nowadays, if you want an abortion in secret there is a pill you can take in the privacy of your own home which is safer and easier than the old methods but, guess what? Texas just banned that, too! So these supposedly pro-life laws will end up hurting a lot of women and probably killing some of them which is especially tragic because if pro-life lawmakers want to reduce abortion there are so many other ways they could do it by supporting women instead of harming them. I mean they could Increase access to contraception, make it easier to raise children with better access to childcare and education and healthcare. They could make it so every kid comes with an iPad so if you don't like your kid at least you got an iPad. The point is they don't want to do any of that. They just want to say no abortions, problem solved. But that approach isn't going to end abortions. All its going to do is just move them somewhere else or make it more dangerous.
