During a rant over abortion Thursday night, late night liberal host Stephen Colbert belittled the highest court in the land as less trusted than CNN.
He opened The Late Show noting every news outlet was talking about the court’s oral arguments on Mississippi’s proposed 15-week abortion ban. But he mocked CNN as an unserious news organization: “CNN was all over the story this morning with their top headline: ‘The Masked Singer’ reveals who's behind the skunk,” he joked.
However, he argued even CNN deserved more respect than the Supreme Court. “We also heard from a slightly less trusted body: The Supreme Court,” he sneered.
The talk show host went on to attack each of the right-leaning justices’ oral arguments while praising left-leaning Sonia Sotomayor’s dramatics defending abortion rights.
He compared Chief Justice John Roberts to an “auctioneer” for questioning why 15-weeks gestation wasn’t sufficient if abortion was only up to the mother’s “choice.” But he was harsher on the Trump-appointed justices.
Suggesting Thomas was an idiot, he mocked, “Clarence Thomas seemed confused about what they're talking about at all.”
Colbert then played a small portion of Thomas pointing out how abortion rights are not in the Constitution. Afterwards, Colbert argued the justice was not too bright:
He knows it's his job to 'interpret' the Constitution, right? I'd like to see Clarence Thomas in a lit class. If we're talking about "Animal Farm," I understand we're talking about a bunch of animals on a farm. And that's all it can be about. There's no mention of the Russian revolution. Now on to my favorite book about fire safety: "Fahrenheit 451." ( Laughter )
Part of this is a difference between the right and the left. The left thinks the Constitution needs to be constantly reinterpreted to adapt to modern politics, as a living breathing document, whereas the right feels the opposite. Even so, a late night comedian suggesting he knows more about the Constitution than a Supreme Court Justice is the height of arrogance.
Colbert also attacked Amy Coney Barrett for noting that “safe haven laws” eliminate the burden of financial responsibility on pregnant women who feel like they can’t take care of a child.
It puts a heavy dent in the pro-abortion argument, but Colbert tried to characterize Barrett as callous. “One argument supporting Roe is that a woman's right to choose is directly linked to her access to economic opportunity. Justice Amy Coney Barrett believes that doesn't matter anymore, thanks to what are called ‘Safe haven laws,’” he griped. “Amy Coney Barrett doesn't think a woman has to be a mother, she just thinks she has to give birth. It's all in her new pregnancy guide: What to expect when you're being forced to be expecting," he mocked, before taking a dig at the justice comparing bodily autonomy arguments to forced vaccine requirements.
While the right-leaning justices were cruel, callous or stupid, he praised the liberals on the court:
COLBERT: Of course, the three liberal justices were not buyin' any of this. Especially justice Sonia Sotomayor, who pointed out that none of the basic issues have changed since the court's previous upholding of Roe. And that Mississippi's stated purpose for bringing this case now is because they wanted it in front of all of these new Republican appointees. And given those facts, she asked this question:
SONIA SOTOMAYOR: Will this institution survive the stench?
Kavanaugh didn’t escape his ire. Colbert made a gross joke at the justice's expense:
“It's a valid question, though that stench might just be Brett Kavanaugh's beer sweats, (laughter) or shall we say, boof burps,” he jeered.
A few months ago, Colbert was already working to tarnish the reputation of the conservative justices. He bizarrely told liberal justice Stephen Breyer on his show in September that the Trump-appointed justices were illegitimate because President Trump didn’t win the popular vote in the 2016 election. As NewsBusters’ Associate Editor Kyle Drennen pointed out at the time, by Colbert’s own absurd logic, even the left’s beloved late justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg shouldn’t have been on the court then, because President Clinton didn’t win a majo in the 1992 election.
The comedian used this same same cherry-picked example to end his pro-abortion screed on Thursday’s show. He also complained that because one ABC News/Washington Post poll showed a majority of Americans supporting the court upholding Roe, it meant the court was going against what the majority of Americans want. “Well, I don't want to get too technical, but we - what's the word - don't live in a democracy," he whined.
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Read the transcript below:
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
12/3/21
STEPHEN COLBERT: If you have been watching the news, everyone is talking about yesterday's historic arguments by our nation's highest judges. There were recriminations, references to stench. CNN was all over the story this morning with their top headline: "The masked singer" reveals who's behind the skunk. ( Laughter ) Thank you, CNN, for your tireless reporting on a woman's right to choose to dress up like a giant rodent and sing "I'll be missing you." ( Laughter ) By the way, it was Faith Evans. She will be missed. ( Laughter ) We also heard from a slightly less trusted body: The Supreme Court. (Laughter) The justices heard oral arguments over a Mississippi abortion ban, and according to court watchers, the Supreme Court seems poised to overturn Roe V. Wade. ( Booing ) Now, now come on hold on everybody, everybody knows that famously you can't read too much into oral arguments. So, we don't know ultimately what’s going to happen, other than we definitely know, cause based on what we heard from the justices, it's looking rough for Roe. Or as one legal expert put it:
SCOOBY DOO: Ruh-roe. ( Laughter )
COLBERT: Now, John Roberts, Chief Justice John Roberts who has been seen as a potential swing vote in this case and is desperate not to make the Supreme Court a purely partisan institution, is trying to find a way to justify Mississippi's 15 week ban without overturning precedent, which is 24 weeks:
JOHN ROBERTS: And why would 15 weeks be an inappropriate line? If viability, it seems to me, doesn't have anything to do with choice. But if it really is an issue about choice, why is 15 weeks not enough time?
COLBERT: So it was 24, now maybe 15. Is Roberts, Chief Justice, or chief auctioneer? I hear 24 weeks. Can I get 15? 15, I hear 15, can I get 6? I hear six from Texas, any less? Going once, going twice, and sold to a glint in your boyfriend's eye. ( Laughter ) So, Roberts seemed a little muddled about the timeline there. Clarence Thomas seemed confused about what they're talking about at all.
CLARENCE THOMAS: I understand we're talking about abortion here, but what is confusing is that we -- if we were talking about the Second Amendment, I know exactly what we're talking about. If we're talking about the Fourth Amendment, I know what we're talking about, because it's written, it's there. What specifically is the right here that we're talking about?
[laughter]
COLBERT: He knows it's his job to 'interpret' the Constitution, right? I'd like to see Clarence Thomas in a lit class. If we're talking about "Animal Farm," I understand we're talking about a bunch of animals on a farm. And that's all it can be about. There's no mention of the Russian revolution. Now on to my favorite book about fire safety: "Fahrenheit 451." ( Laughter )
One argument supporting Roe is that a woman's right to choose is directly linked to her access to economic opportunity. Justice Amy Coney Barrett believes that doesn't matter anymore, thanks to what are called "Safe haven laws" in all 50 states that allow mothers to renounce all parental responsibilities at birth:
AMY CONEY BARRETT: Both Roe and Casey emphasize the burdens of parenting, and insofar as you and many of your amicae focus on the ways in which the forced parenting, forced motherhood would hinder women's access to the workplace and to equal opportunities, it's also focused on the consequences of parenting and the obligations of motherhood that flow from pregnancy. Why don't the safe haven laws take care of that problem?
COLBERT: Amy Coney Barrett doesn't think a woman has to be a mother, she just thinks she has to give birth. It's all in her new pregnancy guide: "What to expect when you're being forced to be expecting." (laughter) Barrett did concede, she did concede that mandatory pregnancy might be inconvenient, but she doesn't see that as a problem:
BARRETT: There is without question an infringement on bodily autonomy which we have in other contexts, like vaccines. (boos)
COLBERT: Now, I'm no doctor, but that seems like a false analogy. Vaccines are mandated because covid is contagious. No one says, can you put a mask on your belly? I don't want to catch baby. (laughter)
Of course, the three liberal justices were not buyin' any of this. Especially justice Sonia Sotomayor, who pointed out that none of the basic issues have changed since the court's previous upholding of Roe. And that Mississippi's stated purpose for bringing this case now is because they wanted it in front of all of these new Republican appointees. And given those facts, she asked this question:
SONIA SOTOMAYOR: Will this institution survive the stench?
COLBERT: It's a valid question, though that stench might just be Brett Kavanaugh's beer sweats, (laughter) or shall we say, boof burps.
( Laughter )
Now If the justices do overturn Roe, it will not be popular. Last month, an ABC News/ Washington Post/Papa John's triple bacon pizza poll found that 60% support upholding Roe, compared to only 27% who want to overturn it. That's more than 2 to 1. So if it's this unpopular, why is everyone saying it's going to happen? Well, I don't want to get too technical, but we - what's the word - don't live in a democracy. Five of the nine justices were appointed by presidents who lost the popular vote, the last three confirmed by a Republican Senate who now represent 41 million fewer Americans than the Democrats. In fact, Republican senators haven't represented a majority of the US population since 1996! And a lot has changed since 1996. Back then, the Oscar for best supporting actor went to Kevin Spacey and the best director was Mel Gibson. ( Laughter ) And the Republicans have their nominees:”Gibson/Spacey 2024, still better than Ted Cruz.”
