Some liberal hosts will never give up. As NewsBusters has previously reported, CNN admitted that Special Counsel Robert Mueller did not provide any new ammunition for Democrat-led efforts to impeach President Trump. But that did not stop some on the network from continuing to call for his impeachment anyway.
Like her counterparts on cable news, TBS host Samantha Bee also called for impeachment in spite of Mueller’s lackluster appearance on Capitol Hill. At one point, she fumed, “If you’ve been waiting for evidence that Donald Trump should be impeached, you already have it. It is called the Mueller Report.”
The comedian began her opening monologue, Wednesday night, by announcing that she watched Mueller’s testimony “with mixed emotions,” including “hope that this would push Democrats to finally do something about Trump, fear that they wouldn’t and sadness that I had to look at Matt Gaetz’s Funko POP! head for hours.” She also trashed Rudy Giuliani after playing video clips of his appearance on Fox News earlier in the day. Bee claimed “somebody is out to bag another cousin” before describing Giuliani as a “cousin-f***er.”
Even Bee had to admit that Mueller’s appearance on Capitol Hill did not fulfill her wildest dreams. The late-night host declared that “Mueller said so little during the hearings but he looked like he aged ten years. He gave his testimony with all the enthusiasm and passion of a recently fired basset hound.” According to Bee, “Mueller’s testimony was like watching depressed paint dry, which is unfortunate for Democrats who want impeachment because their party as a whole isn’t quite sold on the concept and this could be their last chance.”
The host proceeded to attack the Democrats for failing to start impeachment hearings and waiting for public opinion to shift before doing so, suggesting that the Democratic Party slogan is “someone should do something but let’s wait and see if it’s okay. Oh, wait, it’s too late: Ah sh**.” After slamming the Democrats, Bee turned her fire on Republicans: “It was also Republicans’ last chance to convince their base that up is down, black is white, lizard people faked the moon landing and Donald Trump did nothing wrong.”
As her opening monologue came to a close, Bee delivered a plea for impeachment: “Here’s the thing, America, you didn’t need the testimony today. If you’ve been waiting for evidence that Donald Trump should be impeached, you already have it. It is called the Mueller Report.” At this point, the audience erupted into thunderous applause. Bee stressed that “you have everything you need to decide the question ‘should Donald Trump be impeached?’ And the answer is yes!”
Bee had more of a finger on the status of the impeachment debate back in March, when she described impeachment as “just a beautiful dream.” Nonetheless, Bee and many others in the media and the Democratic Party seem ill-prepared for the possibility that their dream of impeachment will likely never come true.
A transcript of the relevant portion of Wednesday’s edition of Full Frontal is below. Click “expand” to read more.
Full Frontal With Samantha Bee
07/24/19
10:32 PM
SAMANTHA BEE: Hello. Welcome to Full Frontal, I’m Samantha Bee. Today, Robert Mueller finally testified before Congress! It was with mixed emotions that I watched his testimony: hope that this would push Democrats to finally do something about Trump, fear that they wouldn’t and sadness that I had to look at Matt Gaetz’s Funko POP! head for hours. The hearings themselves were incredibly dull but luckily on Fox & Friends this morning, we were treated to a one-man show by Rudy Giuliani, newly glowing from his vacation at the caramel factory.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RUDY GIULIANI: This guy was the Director of the FBI! He was really the Wizard of Oz. I think he should give back half his money because he only did half the case and then Barr should get the rest. Mueller saying, “obstruction of justice,” you cut everything out, “obstruction of justice.”
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEE: Oh, wow, even his hair is tanned. Somebody is out to bag another cousin. You know, he’s a cousin-f***er.
(LAUGHTER)
BEE: Most people didn’t learn much from today’s hearing unless you get your news from Fox, in which case, maybe you learned quite a bit.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REP. JACKIE SPEIER: Would you agree that it was not a hoax that the Russians were engaged in trying to impact our election?
ROBERT MUELLER: Absolutely. It was not a hoax.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEE: It’s not a hoax. Oh, my God…why isn’t someone investigating this?
(LAUGHTER)
BEE: Mueller made it clear well before these hearings that he didn’t want to be there and that he would not provide any new information. And boy, did he deliver.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIPS)
MUELLER: Well, I would have to refer you to the report on that. I refer you to the report for that. I…I refer you to the…the report. This is outside my purview. It’s not in my purview.
REP. TED LIEU: If you read that first sentence, would you be willing to do that?
MUELLER: I’m happy to have you read it.
(END VIDEO CLIPS)
BEE: Truly, how dare you, sir, ask us, as Americans, to read a book! We are the country that made a hit out of According to Jim. Mueller said so little during the hearings but he looked like he aged ten years. He gave his testimony with all the enthusiasm and passion of a recently fired Basset Hound. The only way Mueller could have looked less interested in testifying this morning is if he spent the testimony wearing glasses with open eyes painted on them. I wonder what he was thinking.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REP. KEN BUCK: 1512-c2 talks about…
MALE VOICE-OVER (AS MUELLER): Oh, I hate this so much. This is a bunch of bullshit. I could be watching JAG reruns right now. Did I leave the garage door open? I am beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can’t bring me down.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEE: Hey, you can spend the rest of your life playing Uno with your grandkids. Just pound a Mountain Dew and look alive for a second! Mueller’s testimony was like watching depressed paint dry, which is unfortunate for Democrats who want impeachment because their party as a whole isn’t quite sold on the concept and this could be their last chance.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DAVE BRIGGS: Only 80 House Democrats support impeachment.
JEREMY HERB: I think for a lot of Democrats, this is kind of a make-or-break moment when it comes to impeachment. They’re hoping that the pub…public opinion will sway as a result of Mueller’s testimony.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BEE: Ah yes, because who can forget the Democratic Party slogan, “someone should do something but let’s wait and see if it’s okay…oh, wait, too late: Ah, shit.”
(APPLAUSE)
BEE: It…it was also Republicans’ last chance to convince their base that up is down, black is white, lizard people faked the moon landing and Donald Trump did nothing wrong.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIPS)
REP. JOHN RATCLIFFE: Donald Trump is not above the law, he’s not. But he damn sure shouldn’t be below the law.REP. JIM JORDAN: Mifsud told Papadopoulos, Papadopoulos tells the diplomat, the diplomat tells the FBI, the FBI opens the investigation.
REP. LOUIE GOHMERT: What he is doing is not obstructing justice. He is pursuing justice.
REP. MIKE TURNER: You have no more power to declare him exonerated than you have the power to declare him Anderson Cooper.
(END VIDEO CLIPS)
BEE: Hey, only God can declare an Anderson Cooper and he broke the mold. Here’s the thing, America, you didn’t need the testimony today. If you’ve been waiting for evidence that Donald Trump should be impeached, you already have it. It is called the Mueller report.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
BEE: Donald Trump pressured James Comey to drop an investigation into Michael Flynn’s ties to Russia then fired him after he refused. Trump pressured his cronies not to give information on him and ordered that Mueller himself be fired. It’s hard to see how that’s not obstruction. You have everything you need to decide the question, ‘should Donald Trump be impeached?’ And the answer is yes! Yes, he should!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
BEE: We don’t need to force the world’s grumpiest law daddy to read between the lines of his report when you could just read the lines. We’ll be right back.
