Daily Kos Week in Review: Lance Lied Like a Republican?

January 19th, 2013 7:35 AM

Kossacks often put a lefty spin on non-political stories, and it happened again this week with Lance Armstrong's admission of doping. One resident of Kosland declared that Armstrong wasn't merely an athlete who cheated, but someone who, in terms of mendacity, thievery, and hypocrisy, behaved like a typical Republican.

As usual, each headline is preceded by the blogger's name or pseudonym.

mdmslle: One cyclist down, one party to go

...[Armstrong is] the embodiment of people who will lie, cheat, steal, extort and deceive for personal gain. Then, they live a charmed life pretending they did it all "on their own" ("We built that!!!") knowing damned well they didn't.

The same Ayn Rand fuckers who rail against the government but who Social Security survivor benefits to pay for college (CoughPaulRyanCough) and who request stimulus funds for their congressional district, in writing, simultaneously as they rail against Obama's "run way spending" and declare that "Government doesn't create jobs!11!!1!"...

Lance Armstrong, the lying, cheating, extortionist bully is a microcosm of exactly what the hell is wrong with this country.

But blessedly, Lance's downfall doesn't take anyone else down with him. Good bye Lance, You suck, you cheating, lying coward.

Now...on to the GOP's downfall...

Kaili Joy Gray: Woman-hating terrorists descend on Washington


...[I]t's time for Fetuspalooza 2013!

Ever since the Supreme Court held in [January] 1973 that yes, women have the right to decide whether and when they want to have children—a right that has been redefined, restricted and outright denied ever since—the fetus fetishists have gathered for the "March for Life" to either celebrate or mourn, depending on just how successful their war on women and doctors has been in the preceding year...

...Of course, they don't call themselves terrorists and don't consider what they do terrorism. But when your movement employs threats, intimidation, violence, bombing and even assassination—like the cold-blooded murder of Dr. George Tiller in his very own church—to achieve the political goal of scaring people away from exercising their protected rights, well, as the saying goes, it's a duck.

Kos: Conservatives are fake patriots... 
 
...Freedom to marry? Freedom from gun violence? Freedom to receive quality health care? Of course not. These conservatives claim to love America, but what they really love is their asshole America, one that's designed to favor the wealthy, male, powerful and white...
 
Kos: ...and here's where they should live
 
...I'm still advocating the establishment of Dumbfuckistan by merging the Texas panhandle (which is essentially the second most Republican district in the country) and that western slice of Oklahoma. We could build a big wall around it and a moat full of alligators. We'll tell them it's to keep the immigrants out, but really, it would be to keep them in. Glenn Beck can be president...
 
Ray Pensador: Liberals are doctors curing the disease of conservatism
 
...If today there is any semblance of decency, of progress, of justice, of equality under the law [in America], it all has come about [because] of...the enlightened liberal/progressive movement.
 
There can be no debate about this; it is based on unadulterated facts...

Nevertheless, as the nation has struggled to rid itself of the influences from the most disturbing, uglier, evil, exploitative, and outright sadistic impulses and base (or debased) instincts of human nature, the ideal of becoming a more perfect union has always been challenged by the sad reality that there exists among us a certain element that acts as a disease that always threatens to weaken our society.  It's an abhorrent element; disgusting, hate-filled; where ignorance is not rejected, but embraced; where the most debased of human instincts fester, emanating a nauseating stench.

Thankfully, because of the advances brought about exclusively by Liberals and Progressives, that poisonous segment of the population is slowly disappearing, and one day they will become extinct...

All these noises you hear, all the saliva-spewing, vein-popping ugliness you hear from these miscreants is just a manifestation of their ongoing and assured demise, as they convulse, stewing in rage and anger, because the world is changing around them...