All five of the late night comedy talk show hosts managed to acknowledge the existence of Hunter Biden’s guilty verdict on their Tuesday shows, but mentioning something is not the same thing as joking about it. Instead, the quintet used the verdict to go after Donald Trump, Republicans, and lament the lack of gun control in America.
On CBS, The Late Show host Stephen Colbert reported on Hunter’s guilty verdict and replied, “Now, that is truly shocking news. Evidently, in America, there is a wrong way to buy a gun. I didn't know that. I had no idea. I've never heard that before.”
Colbert also didn’t see what the big deal was, “Now, it's no secret how I feel about Trump's conviction. So, ethically and morally, I have to be consistent and say that, in light of this verdict, I don't believe Hunter Biden should be president.”
Over at ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the eponymous host declared that “His father did a terrible job of rigging this. He really-- Hunter was convicted on three felony gun charges, which means he's now only 31 felonies away from being the Republican nominee for president.”
After reading President Joe Biden’s statement that read, in part, “Jill and I will always be there for Hunter and the rest of our family with our love and support. Nothing will ever change that,” a sarcastic Kimmel again turned to Trump, “Same thing Trump would say about Eric in this situation, you know?”
All five of the comedy shows had great fun with the sordid details of Trump’s case, but jokes about the similar details of Hunter’s case have been harder to come by. Still, Kimmel noted, “They both filed phony paperwork. Hunter lied on his application to buy a gun. Trump falsified business records. The only difference is one of them was on crack when it happened.”
Over at NBC and Late Night, Seth Meyers used the verdict to mock Trump and Fox News’s Sean Hannity, “Hunter Biden was found guilty today on all counts in his federal gun trial and now faces up to 25 years on Hannity. According to new analysis, first lady Dr. Jill Biden's round trip flight from France to Delaware to attend Hunter Biden's federal gun trial could cost taxpayers as much as $345,000. Say what you will about Trump, but he never spent a dime of taxpayer money to be with his kids.”
On Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, temp host Jordan Klepper made what might be considered the only slight reference to Hunter’s shady business dealings, “We start with one of the most dangerous criminal masterminds in American history: Hunter Biden. He's gotten away with being Joe Biden's son for years, but today, he faced Delaware justice.”
After a clip of CNN reporting on the verdict, Klepper returned to push gun control and accuse Republicans of hypocrisy, “Wow. Wow. Frankly, I'm shocked. We are actually enforcing gun laws in America! Halle-[bleep]-lujah! And what has been wild is watching how eager Republicans have been to hold a gun owner accountable. Of course, it's only because he's Joe Biden's son, but that's an opportunity. All we need is for Joe Biden to adopt every single person in America, and we can finally have some responsible gun control in this country.”
Over at The Tonight Show on NBC, Jimmy Fallon pulled out his Trump voice, “"I've always said our legal system is fair and just. And this is just another example of justice finally being served."
Fallon also briefly mentioned some of the unflattering details, “What was Hunter guilty of, lying about being on drugs while buying a gun? I mean, when did that become a crime?”
For the men of late night, even scandals that involve Democrats are opportunities to go after Republicans, which is how you arrive at a greater than 4:1 ratio of jokes targeting conservatives.
Here are transcripts for the June 11-taped shows:
CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
6/11/2024
11:37 PM ET
STEPHEN COLBERT: Folks, there are a whole lot of stories out there, but there's one everyone's talking about, and it's that today, a federal jury in Delaware found Hunter Biden guilty on all three charges in his felony gun trial. Now, that is truly shocking news. Evidently, in America, there is a wrong way to buy a gun. I didn't know that. I had no idea. I've never heard that before. Now, it's no secret how I feel about Trump's conviction. So, ethically and morally, I have to be consistent and say that, in light of this verdict, I don't believe Hunter Biden should be president.
President Biden believes in the rule of law. He’s already promised to accept the verdict and not pardon his son, but he did show how much he loves his son with this statement today, "I am the president, but I am also a dad. Jill and I love our son, and we are so proud of the man he is today. I will accept the outcome of this case and will continue to respect the judicial process as Hunter considers an appeal. Jill and I will always be there for Hunter. Nothing will ever change that.”
That-- lovely-- that is moving. In stark contrast, Trump's campaign made this statement. "Crooked Joe Biden's reign over the Biden family criminal empire is all coming to an end on November 5th. As for Hunter, we wish him well in his recovery and legal affairs."
Surprisingly gracious there at the end. Which is why, almost immediately, Trump's campaign sent an updated statement striking the well wishes for Hunter.
[TRUMP IMPRESSION] Sorry, folks, that's on me. I mistakenly used an old statement and just did a find and replace for the name Jeffrey Epstein. I'm sorry. We miss you, Jeff. We miss you, Jeff."
***
ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live!
6/11/2024
11:35 PM ET
JIMMY KIMMEL: But the one that got all the attention today was in Delaware, the high-profile trial of Hunter Biden ended badly for Hunter. He was found guilty on all three counts. His father did a terrible job of rigging this. He really-- Hunter was convicted on three felony gun charges, which means he's now only 31 felonies away from being the Republican nominee for president.
There is bad news for the Bidens. The president put out a statement that said, "I am the president, but I am also a dad. I will accept the outcome of this case and will continue to respect the judicial process as Hunter considers an appeal. Jill and I will always be there for Hunter and the rest of our family with our love and support. Nothing will ever change that."
Same thing Trump would say about Eric in this situation, you know? Hunter now faces up to 25 years in prison. The sentencing date has not been set. Maybe they-- you know what, they should let Trump and Hunter sentence each other. Wouldn't that be fun? I've got a number in my hand, you've got a number in your hand. They did others get in trouble for the same thing. They both filed phony paperwork. Hunter lied on his application to buy a gun. Trump falsified business records. The only difference is one of them was on crack when it happened.
***
NBC Late Night with Seth Meyers
6/12/2024
12:36 AM ET
SETH MEYERS: Hunter Biden was found guilty today on all counts in his federal gun trial and now faces up to 25 years on Hannity. According to new analysis, first lady Dr. Jill Biden's round trip flight from France to Delaware to attend Hunter Biden's federal gun trial could cost taxpayers as much as $345,000. Say what you will about Trump, but he never spent a dime of taxpayer money to be with his kids.
***
Comedy Central The Daily Show
6/11/2024
11:01 PM ET
JORDAN KLEPPER: We start with one of the most dangerous criminal masterminds in American history: Hunter Biden. He's gotten away with being Joe Biden's son for years, but today, he faced Delaware justice.
BORIS SANCHEZ: We begin with our breaking news: A federal jury finding Hunter Biden guilty on three felony gun charges. The president's son walking out of the courtroom earlier today a convicted felon.
KLEPPER: Wow. Wow. Frankly, I'm shocked. We are actually enforcing gun laws in America! Halle-[bleep]-lujah! And what has been wild is watching how eager Republicans have been to hold a gun owner accountable.
Of course, it's only because he's Joe Biden's son, but that's an opportunity. All we need is for Joe Biden to adopt every single person in America, and we can finally have some responsible gun control in this country.
***
NBC The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
6/11/2024
11:37 PM ET
JIMMY FALLON: Today, Hunter Biden was found guilty on all three felony charges in his federal firearm trial. Trump heard and was like, [TRUMP IMPRESSION] "I've always said our legal system is fair and just. And this is just another example of justice finally being served."
[NORMAL VOICE]: What was Hunter guilty of, lying about being on drugs while buying a gun? I mean, when did that become a crime?
