After a couple of weeks of vacation, the full slate of late night comedy shows returned on Monday to reveal their reactions to President Joe Biden’s poor debate performance and subsequent interview with ABC’s George Stephanopoulos. While nobody called for Biden to step aside, there were definitely calls for him to step up his game because democracy is allegedly at stake.
On CBS and The Late Show, Biden fundraiser Stephen Colbert lamented that Biden was not up to the task, “Trump proved once again that he is demonstrably a monster. He is a demonster! And keep in mind, keep in mind, Joe called for this debate, it's the earliest they've ever had a presidential debate. And going into it, all Joe had to do was allay people's fears that he was too old. But instead, Biden's shakiness allowed Trump to get away with 90 minutes of lies, racism, and weird golf brags, which is why a lot of people are saying this was the worst debate performance of all time.”
After playing a clip of Biden telling Stephanopoulos, “I'll feel as long as I gave it my all and I did the goodest job as I know I can do, that's what this is about,” a distressed Colbert shot back, “Actually, I don't think that's what this is about. I think that's what The Karate Kid was about. This is about democracy and nuclear war, and you know, that stuff.”
Later in the show, Colbert welcomed CNN’s Abby Phillip and wondered why Biden even debated in the first place, “Do you think the debate should happen?”
After Phillip replied “absolutely,” Colbert asked, “Why? You know he's going to lie and the other guy is the president of the United States, who should not be dignifying this criminal who tried to overthrow democracy and does not believe in the process.”
Phillip argued that “there are a lot of people who have kind of forgotten what Trump is like, what he was like… there was COVID. A lot of this has kind of left the brain.”
Over at Comedy Central and The Daily Show, Jon Stewart, who was the only one to react to the debate when it first happened, reacted to the same Biden-Stephanopoulos clip, “That is not what this is about! There are no participation trophies in ‘End-game democracy.’ Yes, I remember FDR saying, ‘Well, if the Nazis take over Europe, at least both teams had fun.”
NBC Late Night host Seth Meyers set up his debate commentary by first attacking Donald Trump and the Supreme Court, “Trump's ambition to turn the U.S. into a dictatorship will only be buoyed by a compliant right-wing Supreme Court that essentially just handed him royal powers. So, that's the situation. A wildly dangerous criminal and pathological liar is leading a radical movement to dismantle American democracy and he's within striking distance of the presidency.”
With that as context, a dejected Meyers introduced Biden’s “beat Medicare” gaffe, “The stakes of this election cannot be any higher, which is why it would be nice to have a Democratic candidate who could competently articulate those stakes to the American people, instead of whatever the hell this was.”
Some Democrats want to dump Biden because they feel he will certainly lose, but Meyers claimed the existence of the debate is proof Democrats are morally superior to Republicans:
However you feel about Biden, and whether he should stay in the race or not, I do think it's worth noting that this conversation is even happening at all. Biden had a bad debate performance, and Democrats are having a vigorous back and forth over whether he should stay in. Donald Trump fomented a violent coup attempt and was convicted of 34 felony counts, and not only did every Republican immediately fall in line, they showed up at the courthouse in matching suits like they were flight attendants on MAGA Airlines. That’s one giant difference between the two parties.
Later, Meyers also denounced Biden’s answers to Stephanopoulos, “No! That's not what this is about! ‘Giving it your all’ is what salsa lessons at a retirement home is all about. This isn't about how you feel. This is about how voters feel. If you truly believe American democracy is at stake, and it is, then you have to act like it. You can't claim to be the last bulwark against fascism and also have a ‘more sleep’ plan. If you think this is serious, you need to act like it's serious.
The other late night hosts were less long-winded. NBC’s Jimmy Fallon found it odd on The Tonight Show that, “the media has spent almost two weeks calling on a candidate to drop out of the race, and somehow it's not the convicted felon.”
Meanwhile, on ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!, guest host and Biden fundraiser alongside the regular eponymous host, Kathryn Hahn, lamented, “The truth is, both candidates are very old. This might be the first presidential race where a slick bathtub could alter the course of history. Okay. Here's the thing, I would vote for a skeleton over Donald Trump. In fact, I may literally be voting for a skeleton over Donald Trump.”
For years, the late night comedy shows have joked about Biden’s senior moments to avoid making fun of his liberalism in order to distinguish him from the threat supposedly posed by Trump. However, the debate and fallout from it proved those senior moments are more serious than just another blooper or gaffe.
Here are transcripts for the July 8 shows:
CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
7/8/2024
11:38 PM ET
STEPHEN COLBERT: So, should he stay? Should he go? Who am I to recommend? I don't know what's going on in Joe Biden's mind, something I apparently have in common with Joe Biden. The debate was 11 days ago, and everyone's still talking about it, and it's a shame because Joe Biden is a great president and in the debate—yes, he's a great president. And in that debate 11 days ago, Trump proved once again that he is demonstrably a monster. He is a demonster! And keep in mind, keep in mind, Joe called for this debate, it's the earliest they've ever had a presidential debate. And going into it, all Joe had to do was allay people's fears that he was too old. But instead, Biden's shakiness allowed Trump to get away with 90 minutes of lies, racism, and weird golf brags, which is why a lot of people are saying this was the worst debate performance of all time
…
JOE BIDEN: I'll feel as long as I gave it my all and I did the goodest job as I know I can do, that's what this is about.
COLBERT: Actually, I don't think that's what this is about. I think that's what The Karate Kid was about. This is about democracy and nuclear war, and you know, that stuff. Now, you might have noticed if you're a keen-eyed viewer, that there was a part where the leader of the Free World said the word "goodest." But according to the White House, no, he didn't. They demanded that ABC News change the transcript to read, "I did the good as job as I know I can do." That correction makes even less sense. I'd like to know how that phone call went. "Excuse me, the president of the United States never said 'goodest' and I demand that you fix this the possible as soon.”
…
COLBERT: Do you think the debate should happen?
ABBY PHILLIP: Absolutely.
COLBERT: Why? You know he's going to lie and the other guy is—
PHILLIP: I think—
COLBERT: — the president of the United States, who should not be dignifying this criminal who tried to overthrow democracy and does not believe in the process.
PHILLIP: I absolutely — I think the American people need to know what they're getting from these candidates.
COLBERT: But they already know. They’ve both been president of the United States. It's not like one of them is a mystery.
PHILLIP: But, listen, there are a lot of people who have kind of forgotten what Trump is like, what he was like. [audience booing] They're not in the audience tonight. But a lot of Americans, it’s almost like, there was COVID. A lot of this has kind of left the brain and so, I just think, look, people need to see not only what is Trump like generally, but what is he like right now? And what is he really going to say? And it was President Biden’s job to put the pressure and the spotlight on Trump.
I mean, that's what his aides told us that he was going to do and I think they acknowledge that he didn't execute on that game plan and that's why the debate was not great for him. But they didn't set the standard of saying “oh, well, he doesn't want to be in a position to challenge Trump.” They asked for the debate.
COLBERT: Right.
PHILLIP: They wanted to challenge.
COLBERT: They agreed to those rules.
PHILLIP: They agreed to those rules.
***
Comedy Central The Daily Show
7/8/2024
11:10 PM ET
JON STEWART: Or when the president sat down with George Stephanopoulos to prove once and for all how cogent he is and to film a bronzer ad. Orange man good? None of this was reassuring! And we're told that the threat of Trump is so great and the stakes are so high that even bringing up these absolutely legitimate concerns about the president's ability to do the most vigorous job in the world for the next four years is "enabling fascism," yet even the president doesn't seem particularly alarmed!
GEORGE STEPHANOPULOS: If you stay in and Trump is elected, and everything you're warning about comes to pass, how will you feel in January?
JOE BIDEN: I'll feel as long as I gave it my all and I did the goodest as job as I know I can do, that's what this is about.
STEWART: That is not what this is about! There are no participation trophies in "End-game democracy." Yes, I remember FDR saying, "Well, if the Nazis take over Europe, at least both teams had fun." And it's really troubling that, as this new information has been introduced, we just learned about this, and now we are being told, "Well, you should have thought of that before you knew it!"
***
NBC Late Night with Seth Meyers
7/9/2024
12:48 AM ET
SETH MEYERS: His aides are involved, and his super PAC is running ads on it. The only way Trump could be any more directly linked to Project 2025 is if he sold it as a companion piece with his Bibles.
[TRUMP IMPRESSION] "Order now and we'll throw in a free copy of Ye Olde Jugs Magazine.
[NORMAL VOICE] And Trump's ambition to turn the U.S. into a dictatorship will only be buoyed by a compliant right-wing Supreme Court that essentially just handed him royal powers.
So, that's the situation. A wildly dangerous criminal and pathological liar is leading a radical movement to dismantle American democracy and he's within striking distance of the presidency. The stakes of this election cannot be any higher, which is why it would be nice to have a Democratic candidate who could competently articulate those stakes to the American people, instead of whatever the hell this was.
JOE BIDEN: Making sure that we're able to make every single solitary person eligible for what I've been able to do with the — with the COVID — excuse me, with — dealing with everything we have to do with — look. If we finally beat Medicare—
JAKE TAPPER: Thank you, President Biden.
MEYERS: In fairness, it's very easy to confuse saving Medicare with defeating Medicare. It's like when Obama famously said, "Tonight the United States conducted an operation that successfully saved Osama bin Laden, I mean killed him, right? Killed him?”
…
MEYERS: However you feel about Biden, and whether he should stay in the race or not, I do think it's worth noting that this conversation is even happening at all. Biden had a bad debate performance, and Democrats are having a vigorous back and forth over whether he should stay in. Donald Trump fomented a violent coup attempt and was convicted of 34 felony counts, and not only did every Republican immediately fall in line, they showed up at the courthouse in matching suits like they were flight attendants on MAGA Airlines. That’s one giant difference between the two parties.
…
JOE BIDEN: I'll feel as long as I gave it my all and I did the goodest job as I know I can do, that's what this is about.
MEYERS: No! That's not what this is about! "Giving it your all" is what salsa lessons at a retirement home is all about. This isn't about how you feel. This is about how voters feel. If you truly believe American democracy is at stake, and it is, then you have to act like it. You can't claim to be the last bulwark against fascism and also have a "more sleep" plan. If you think this is serious, you need to act like it's serious.
It's like if you caught Smokey Bear with a cigarette in his mouth. "Smokey, can't that start a forest fire?" "Hey, blame the tobacco companies, kid. This [bleep] Is addictive."
I have no idea what will happen, or if Biden will stay in or not. But as we've established on this show for years now, the stakes of a Trump presidency are incredibly high. The job of any Democrat running against him is to articulate the strongest possible case against him at all times, especially when everyone is watching. And right now, it's pretty clear that's not happening. Trump's agenda is dangerous and terrifying. The only way it could be any crazier is if he promised to –
ROBERT F. KENNEDY JR.: Eat a human.
***
NBC The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
7/8/2024
11:37 PM ET
JIMMY FALLON: Seriously, the media is crazy right now. The only 2 people they're covering 24/7 are Joe Biden and the Hawk Tuah Girl. That's all they're talking about. Maybe she should run. Yeah, the media has spent almost two weeks calling on a candidate to drop out of the race, and somehow it's not the convicted felon.
***
ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live!
7/8/2024
11:40 PM ET
KATHRYN HAHN: The truth is, both candidates are very old. This might be the first presidential race where a slick bathtub could alter the course of history. Okay. Here's the thing, I would vote for a skeleton over Donald Trump. In fact, I may literally be voting for a skeleton over Donald Trump.
